tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post6998150283285822551..comments2023-12-14T13:49:25.768-08:00Comments on This Gay Relationship: Letter to "The Vancouver Sun" in Response to the Suicide Death of Amanda Todd, a Victim of BullyingRick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-23978785291734336762012-10-17T17:14:05.120-07:002012-10-17T17:14:05.120-07:00Wonderful to hear from you again, Heather.
I don&...Wonderful to hear from you again, Heather.<br /><br />I don't know if we value the abuser so much as become fixated on him. I think that's part of the compulsion we have…to focus on the train wreck. We're horrified by it, but we can't help ourselves.<br /><br />What you've said about the damage to the soul is spot on. I know for a fact, despite all the work I've done to improve my self-esteem and to love myself over the decades, I will always bear the scars of the bullying I endured at school. As I've written here before, you can think you've finally risen above them, then, BANG, something happens, you're that wounded child all over again, and the pain hurts as much as it did before. Thankfully, as adults, we have better ways of coping with it (hopefully). <br /><br />There are so many bullying situations, which I didn't address in my letter. For example, I've witnessed bullying circumstances in the work place, between peers, and, worse, between the boss and an employee. These are dreadful situations too, because one's livelihood could be affected. You can't fool around with this sort of thing. Hopefully, there are avenues for bullied employees to go down, wherever they might work. <br /><br />Until we treat bullying as a felony, punishments will always be inadequate. That said, not all forms of bullying could be classified as felonies or require severe consequences–there's a considerable difference, for example, between a comment here and there and physical violence. <br /><br />Each level of bullying must be addressed accordingly, but I believe the registry is a great start. At the same time we bring public shame to those who bully, we also create records of everything, providing lots of information on the severity of bullying, how frequently it happens, and what it looks like. With that database, we might just have a better way to address it.<br /><br />I'm all for punishing the bully, but, at the same time, let's be sure that the punishment fits the crime. <br /><br />Thanks so much for your interest in what I have to say. You know I appreciate it. Rick Modienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-54737657974504955902012-10-16T23:37:32.901-07:002012-10-16T23:37:32.901-07:00Sadly, we live in a culture that values the abuser...Sadly, we live in a culture that values the abuser rather than the abused. It's sad, and horrible. The penalty for taking someone's physical life by one's hand is more severe than causing permanent, lifelong scars and traumas that some people never ever get over, and even those of us who have gotten over most, we never fully do, because it's part of our soul. I'd rather have my soul robbed than beaten, scarred and broken. The lifelong pain is too much for some to handle. Not all can tolerate it. <br /><br />Particularly when your bully is twice your age, or more. Bullying starts in childhood, but never stops. Mature people, wise enough to know better, still bully. <br /><br />A registry is necessary, but it's still not enough. There needs to be real punishments, not a shame on you, look what you did. You can't replace the soul that took their life. You can't replace the part of one's soul that was robbed of its innocence and purity. They never come back. But the abuser gets to live their life. Free and clear. No fuss, no muss.<br /><br />That, is more pathetic than anything else.Heatherhttp://chaoticgrrl.comnoreply@blogger.com