tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post7754879508026566820..comments2023-12-14T13:49:25.768-08:00Comments on This Gay Relationship: Gay (Almost) Like Me: Tim Kurek's "The Cross in the Closet"Rick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-59798774230111612232012-12-29T07:55:08.085-08:002012-12-29T07:55:08.085-08:00Anonymous, I'm glad you read Tim's book. ...Anonymous, I'm glad you read Tim's book. I think it was definitely worth it, too.<br /><br />I'm just about finished another book that deals with Christianity and homosexuality, and I plan to right a post about that very soon. I hope you'll check it out.<br /><br />Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I really appreciate it.Rick Modienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-42999771624027930672012-12-28T13:44:24.567-08:002012-12-28T13:44:24.567-08:00I just finished reading Tim's book. As a hete...I just finished reading Tim's book. As a heterosexual Christian woman I really appreciated his book. It was definitely worth the read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-25878441900471727162012-12-19T10:43:04.681-08:002012-12-19T10:43:04.681-08:00Existential Punk, I hear anger in your words. So ...Existential Punk, I hear anger in your words. So let's take a deep breath and see if we can make sense out of this.<br /><br />In the same way you can't take responsibility for being gay, Kurek can't take responsibility for being straight. He just is. And our culture bestows privilege on heterosexuals. I'm not saying that's right, I'm saying that's reality. So let's not hold it against Kurek; he had nothing to do with it. <br /><br />As far as someone straight leading the way (I assume you mean setting the example), well, he's not the only one. I believe, for instance, I'm leading the way, to the extent I can, by what I write in this blog. And I'll bet you're leading the way too by being the best example of a gay person you can be. So we all have a role to play, don't we?<br /><br />Some time ago, I wrote a post here about our straight allies, and how we must appreciate them. Make no mistake, there are heterosexual people who see the daily injustices levelled against gay people, and they sometimes put themselves at risk to support us. I believe Tim Kurek is one of them. He didn't need to do what he did, so we have to give him credit for that. To the extent he's able to change minds with his words, we owe him our respect. <br /><br />Finally, it's easy to marginalize or dismiss what someone else does, particularly if we're angry at a group we're not a part of (heterosexuals), and who we may blame for the situation we're in. But it's important we inform ourselves, even about something we don't like or agree with, before we pass judgment. Otherwise, we risk looking as uninformed and impulsive as those who pass judgment on us. <br /><br />When it comes to gay and straight people–just like Caucasian and Black, Christian and Jew, man and woman, and so on–there can be no us and them. We're all in this together. I think it was Charles Dickens who said (I'm paraphrasing) each of us is trudging toward the grave, trying to do the best we can. We're here to learn from each other's differences. We're also here to learn acceptance and love. <br /><br />Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it. Rick Modienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-59341608517626396492012-12-19T10:30:19.940-08:002012-12-19T10:30:19.940-08:00Anonymous, I'm not sure it's fair to say K...Anonymous, I'm not sure it's fair to say Kurek was motivated by ego to live his experience as a gay man for a year and to write a book about it. Would you say the same about John Howard Griffin, who, at considerable risk to his health, ingested a drug to change his skin color, so he could learn what it was like to be a black man in the Southern United States? Regardless, I think it's important to read what Kurek wrote to get the full story and to put yourself on a surer footing to criticize him. <br /><br />And, yes, you may be right in saying a straight man who "plays" gay for a year doesn't have the same experience as a gay man. That said, again, the detail Kurek captures in his book tells me his gay experience was very real for him (plus, I related to much of it as a gay man myself), and he learned firsthand some of the bits and pieces of what it really means to be gay. I give him a lot of credit for that. <br /><br />Your last point is an interesting one. Until you came out of the closet (if you have), didn't you pretend to be heterosexual? I know I did, for twenty-six years of my life. And, although I was in a lot of pain inside, I think I did a pretty damn good job at being something I wasn't. So can we not take a bit of a leap here and say that Kurek could have done a pretty damn good job of being gay for a year, too? Again, I think it's important to read his book to fully appreciate his story. <br /><br />Many thanks for your comment. <br />Rick Modienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-92104736763965592712012-12-18T22:57:58.639-08:002012-12-18T22:57:58.639-08:00There's an ego at play in this book and I do n...There's an ego at play in this book and I do not believe that any person who is heterosexual can "pretend" to be homosexual and experience the real sense of struggle, pain, humiliation, and hopefully full freedom; and vice versa for that matter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-74343700909852745602012-12-18T22:52:34.135-08:002012-12-18T22:52:34.135-08:00i am SO sick of straight privilege leading the way...i am SO sick of straight privilege leading the way. Sorry, but this is crap!Existential Punkhttp://www.existentialpunk.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-61041023402792402482012-12-14T23:13:41.225-08:002012-12-14T23:13:41.225-08:00Thank you for your interest in my blog, Topper, an...Thank you for your interest in my blog, Topper, and for taking the time to leave a comment. <br /><br />Part of my intent for writing this post was to attract positive attention to Tim Kurek's book. I think it's an original and important piece of work, and the conclusions he reaches, certainly from the perspective of conservative Christianity, are groundbreaking. I hope I'm able to turn many people on to his story and enlighten a few minds as a result. <br /><br />I appreciate your kind words about my blog and hope I continue to offer posts that keep you coming back. Rick Modienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-20516145267897445692012-12-14T17:59:22.457-08:002012-12-14T17:59:22.457-08:00Thanks for posting this. I will have to find this...Thanks for posting this. I will have to find this book online and read it. I like your blog.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13495162538813165023noreply@blogger.com