Below, you'll find two excerpts from an email I sent to a good friend and pastor of a non-denominational church, with whom I had a recent in-depth discussion on the topics of homosexuality and the Bible. While I could rewrite everything I wrote in these excerpts to fit the format of my blog, this isn't necessary. I'll make a few adjustments for clarity, but I believe the content stands on its own.
Homosexuality, and the often quoted references to it in the Bible, are not cut and dried. How can they be? I'm gay. I've always been gay. I will always be gay (even though some think, if I wanted to badly enough, I could be cured). I refuse to believe I'm a bad person because I love, and have sex with, someone of the same gender. Who am I really hurting by being true to myself, by being who I was meant to be? How is that a sin, particularly if you are born gay, as I believe to the core of my being I was?
Thus, despite what devoted Christians think, being gay is not a moral issue (which I wrote about previously in another post). I refuse to believe it is. At some point, if you're gay and religious to whatever extent, you have to decide to accept and love yourself, to live your life as you are, and to take the risk you won't enjoy eternal life with God in heaven. Otherwise, there would be no point living this life on earth. (And I don't believe for a moment not accepting and loving myself--that is suffering in this life being what I am and never following through on it--would make God look at me any more favorably when it comes to the afterlife. I'm not prepared to carry that cross on earth, so to speak, for the possibility of making it to heaven.)
Do you worry about my soul? Do you think my confusion about what to believe in the Bible and my belief some Bible passages should be questioned will prevent me from assuming my place next to God after I've passed on? I don't worry about that anymore. I may have, when I was coming to terms with being gay. In fact, being raised Catholic, it was a BIG part of the process.
But I've had to accept myself, and along with that, I've had to accept what may eventually happen to my soul. What choice do I have? I am who I am. I fought too hard, for too long, against homosexuality, and where did it get me? I've had to get on with it, and, where my sexual orientation is concerned, I know I'm in a better place now than I've ever been.
I have a right to love someone, even if that someone is the same gender. I have a right to enjoy companionship and intimacy the same as any straight person. I have a right to be a whole human being and not to hate myself anymore because I'm gay. And I have a right to believe what I believe and live will be acceptable to God in the end.