Saturday, June 13, 2009

Seventeen Years Ago

I debated whether I should take my computer out tonight to write a quick post about Chris's and my seventeenth anniversary today. But, since this blog is all about our relationship as a gay couple, I thought I should mark the occasion by simply noting it.

We didn't do much to celebrate. That happened at last night's dinner with my mother at Kingfisher, which I wrote about briefly in a previous post.

My sister Debbie, and her boyfriend Brett, came to get Mom today, so Chris and I spent most of the day by ourselves, running a number of errands around Port Coquitlam, Pitt Meadows, and Maple Ridge. We shared greeting cards this morning and, on numerous occasions, wished each other a happy anniversary.

I won't get specific about what we wrote in our cards to each other, but Chris thanked me for being his partner over all these years together, and I wrote that I know how blessed I am to have Chris as my partner.

I'm proud of what we've achieved over seventeen years of being committed to each other. We've done it without having an open relationship at any time, which is no small accomplishment in the gay community, and which neither one of us believes in.

From the very beginning, we both agreed we wouldn't tolerate an open relationship. We don't believe in them.

I believe they are nothing but a big excuse to indulge in sex with whoever you want to, yet still be fortunate enough to have someone to go home to. That's unacceptable conduct in my book. It's immoral and selfish, even if it's agreed that both people can have sex outside of the relationship with whomever they want. In this case, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

I believe strongly that sex must be shared with that special person in your life, the one you are committed to and that you build a life with, not with every attractive person you see. On this subject I'm completely unbending. In fact, even the thought of open relationships makes me angry.

In general, gay men need to get their act together and stop being such pigs when it comes to sex, especially when they are in relationships. Open relationship or not, if you want to play around, you don't deserve to have a committed partner. Get sex out of your system before partnering seriously with someone.

How in the hell did I get from the wonderful subject of celebrating our seventeenth anniversary together to expressing my puritanical position on open relationships and promiscuity in the gay community?

Happy anniversary to us. I really value what I have with Chris, and I am blessed beyond all measure to share my life with such a wonderful human spirit. (I can't conceive of having sex with anyone else while I'm with Chris, and I can't believe that works for anyone else either.)

Here's to the next seventeen, and the seventeen after that, too.

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