Sunday, December 5, 2010

Response to a Comment on "Homosexuality is NOT a Moral Issue!" -- Part Two

For the preamble belonging to this series, please see the first number of paragraphs in 'Response to a Comment on "Homosexuality is NOT a Moral Issue?" -- Part One.'


You raised the question as to how can someone who engages in gay sex be looked upon in the same manner as a murderer, thief or rapist.

Let me cite you a few examples of how the comparison can be made:

Dean Corll ("Candyman") was a homosexual who murdered teenagers in Huston. Other notable homosexual serial killers were Randy Steven Kraft ("Score Card Killer"), David Maust, Wayne Williams, Fritz Haarmann (”Butcher of Hanover”), Luis Alfredo Garavito, Michael Swango (“Doctor of Death”), David D. Hill, Huang Yong, Adolfo de Jesus Constanzo ("Matamoros Cult Killer"), Henry Lee Lucas, Ottis Toole, Jeffrey Dahmer (homosexual cannibal) and Canada’s infamous, sadistic, homosexual rapist, Clifford Olsen.[12]

Before he was executed in Utah State prison for the killing of five boys, Arthur Gary Bishop said of his crimes, "With great sadness and remorse, I realize that I allowed myself to be misled by Satan. I am a homosexual pedophile convicted of murder and pornography was a determining factor in my downfall."[13]

I can't believe this continues to come up, so let's see if I can write something to put it to rest once and for all.

A distinction MUST be made between homosexuality, and everything from pedophilia to murder.  Sure, some of the people noted above--which I spot checked on Google because, I confess, I'd never heard of them--may have been gay.  But there is no correlation whatsoever between homosexuality, and child sexual abuse or cannibalism or murder.  Some homosexuals are pedophiles and killers just as some  heterosexuals are, too.  In fact, I don't have the statistics nor do I have specific names (because this is not my area of expertise), but I'm certain most pedophiles and murderers are heterosexual.  It's not because one is gay that one is into sex with underaged children leading to all manner of depraved acts.  So let's stop with these inappropriate comparisons.  They are erroneous at best, and insulting at worst.      

And I'm going to make a statement here that might make some people angry.  Perhaps the reason why at least some of these gay men went off the deep end and committed crimes both straight and gay people find utterly heinous is because they learned early on being gay was unacceptable.  Perhaps they were bullied so badly, they got messed up in the head, and, instead of finding constructive ways to deal with the hate directed at them (like the majority of us do), they lashed out and discovered completely dysfunctional ways of coming to terms with who they were.  I'm just saying it's possible. As one who was taunted and bullied for years in the public school system (which I've written about extensively here), I understand the pressure they felt.  Most gay people deal with it, a few don't.  Perhaps, then, our society has to take some responsibility for what happened.          

There have been many instances of homosexuals and bisexuals wittingly or unwittingly infecting their partners with AIDS. If the person was aware they were carriers of the disease before the liaison transpired, it’s fairly easy to perceive that as an act of manslaughter. If it were a pre-meditated event, a charge of first-degree murder might even be warranted.[14][15]

Obviously, I can't address every instance of homosexuals knowingly infecting their sex partners with HIV or AIDS.  Let's just say I'm sure many infected heterosexuals have done the same thing, whether they knew it or not.  Anyone, gay or straight, who engages in this misconduct must be held accountable in a court of law and face the appropriate consequences, whether that be a verdict of manslaughter or whatever. Immoral conduct in this regard is not the exclusive domain of homosexuals.  

The homosexual lobby likes to cite stories of violence against them as a justification of acceptance. As my references cite, much of this violence towards the gays is emanating from their own community. As usual, the MSM is silent on these issues.[16][17][18][19][20]

Physical violence occurs in some relationships, period, whether the people are straight or gay.  All of us are familiar with stories of men who physically, not to mention, emotionally abused their wives.  Conversely, I have read about some instances where a man in a gay relationship abused his partner.  It happens.  Again, not something exclusive to homosexuals.

The greater concern, I think, is in discrimination against gays that leads to violence. These stories are far more numerous--instances when, for no apparent reason, gay men are bashed simply because of their sexual orientation.  

A recent local example involves a supposedly straight man who sucker punched a sixty-plus year old gay man in a Vancouver gay pub.  Reportedly, the victim hit his head hard on the cement floor and is now mentally impaired to some degree.  Fortunately, the straight man was found guilty of a hate crime and has been sentenced to time in prison, but the gay man will likely never recover completely from the assault .  These are the instances where gay people say enough is enough, and demand acceptance of who and what they are so this sort of thing stops.  (I don't know what the MSM is, sorry.)             

The Mass Resistance organization has reported that gays have terrorized groups that oppose the homosexual agenda. PFOX (Parents & Friends of ex-gays) have stated they have been targets of harassment and hatred by gays.[21]

Unfortunately, I can't speak to this.  I don't know about the Mass Resistance organization.  But I will say this.  As far as I'm concerned--and bear in mind I'm in no way political--there is no such thing as a homosexual agenda.  At least, I'm not aware of it.  If the agenda has to do with being accepted and having the same legals rights as everyone else, well, then, I'm aware of that and I wholeheartedly support it.  But I don't think we have a homosexual agenda, per se.  If we do, someone should tell me about it.  And if a vigilante group of gays has actively harassed anyone, then, in the same way I'd expect straight people to be, their actions must be addressed through the legal system.  I'm not in favor of harassment of anyone, gay or straight, for any reason.  Live and let live.     
You stated that you and you partner have sex with each other in the same way that straight couples have sex. How is that possible, unless your partner has a vagina? If you're talking about anal sex, I think I speak for the majority of straight couples when I say that sodomy isn’t a standard form of copulation between mates. Certainly anal sex has become more commonplace with the advent of widespread pornography in the media but I believe if people were aware of the inherent dangers of this aberrant activity, they would think twice before indulging.[22]

If you want to be specific about how Chris and I have sex, all right, I admit we can't have penis/vagina sex, because one of us doesn't have a vagina.  But, as I wrote in part one of this series, sex is sex.  For me, especially having been with Chris as long as I have, I think sex is less about the physical mechanics and more about the emotional connection between two people.  For that reason, I don't believe any sexual act between two consenting people of legal age is off limits.  

Sex is intended for two people to enjoy within the context of a loving, committed relationship.  That's what I was raised to believe, anyway.  If some straight, as well as gay, people are disgusted by the idea of anal sex, then they shouldn't engage in it.  End of story.  But it is an option for those who are interested, of whatever sexual orientation.  As human beings, we are entitled to engage in and enjoy sex.  If any of us have hang-ups about any sexual acts, then don't do them.  It's that simple.  Just don't dictate to the rest of us what we can and cannot experience.  It's really no one's damn business.             

I’d also like to contest your statement that whether you were born gay or turned out gay because of how you were raised makes no difference whatsoever. Actually, it makes a monumental difference since being “born gay” is one of the myths that homosexual activists use to further their cause. The fact that you even give consideration that your sexual propensity was attributed to your upbringing indicates the questionable validity of the “born gay” argument.

You know, at this point, I can't say one hundred percent that I'm gay because I was born that way or I became that way because of how I was raised (science hasn't proven that either).  All I know for sure is that I've been gay for as long as I can remember.  When I imagine other little boys were turned on to attractive women and their various body parts, I was turned on to handsome, hunky, and hairy men I came into contact with--from next door neighbors to teachers to men on the street.  

Regardless of the cause, I am the way I am, and being gay is as much a part of me as anything else.  Why should the legitimacy of homosexuality be based on how its caused?  The point for me is that I'm gay, and many millions of people around the world are gay as well.  That's what we are, regardless of the reason why, and we should be able to live our lives accordingly. 
The truth is that homosexuality is not a lifestyle pre-determined by genetics or God. If it were, it could not be altered by mere choice. You cannot "choose" to be blonde, Caucasian, tall or attractive. But homosexuals, bisexuals, pedophiles, and the like, CAN choose to alter their behavior.

First, to lump homosexuals and pedophiles in the same category, and say we all have a choice as to who we are, is insulting.  As far as I'm concerned, there's no comparison between the two, in any respect, which I've made clear in my other comments.  So enough already.  

Second, for the vast number of gay people, being homosexual is not a matter of choice as suggested.  I did not make the conscious choice to be gay.  I don't believe anyone does.  Why would we chose the constant battle of being gay as opposed to fitting neatly into a heterosexual world?  

Look at it this way.  Sexuality occurs on a continuum, with exclusive heterosexuality at one end and exclusive homosexuality at the other.  The sexuality of every human being falls along that continuum somewhere.  Thus, for example, those who identify themselves as bisexual probably fall somewhere in the middle.  These are the folks who may have identified themselves as gay at some point, then, through sheer will, counseling, even prayer, supposedly converted to heterosexuality.  All I can say is, good for them.  Unfortunately, they make the rest of us look bad because we can't all be converted--that is, we can't all identify ourselves as gay one day and straight the next. Doesn't work that way.            

And here's something else I want to add this argument.  I've written numerous posts in this very blog about wishing for all the world I were straight.  My life over the past fifty-one years would certainly have been a lot easier if I had been.  Instead of writing posts about gay people overcoming their self-loathing, learning to love themselves despite what society and our culture says about them, and finding and keeping those loving relationships so many of them want, I'd be able to write about gardening or automobiles or books or whatever else I feel passionate about.   

The fact is, no amount of wanting to be straight will help me be that way.  Not even if I were one hundred percent motivated to be straight would I be able to change my sexual orientation.  I know what physical attributes I'm attracted to.  Straight men love women's breasts and legs and asses, for example.  I love men's muscular bodies, facial hair, and hairy chests.  Anyone would be hard pressed to convince me I could go from being obsessed with hairy chests to breasts.  Not going to happen in this lifetime.  So regardless of how I turned out to be gay, I AM GAY.  Who cares how it happened. There's no turning back now.  That's my fate in life.  That's what I have to deal with.  And I believe I'm doing the best I can with what I have.       
Some people mistakenly equate a black person to a homosexual. Skin color is a neutral, immutable characteristic. Being “black” is what someone is. On the other hand, being “gay” is what someone does. It involves feelings and changeable behaviors. Homosexual conduct is more akin to alcoholism, gambling or pot smoking behaviors than it is to skin color (and for those in the lifestyle, especially men, sodomy most definitely involves rolling the dice). Comparing “black” or “heterosexual” to “gay” is a deception and one that is totally erroneous. Understandably, many African Americans find this disingenuous comparison tremendously offensive.

No, contrary to the comment above, homosexuality is not just what someone does.  It's who and what you are.  Countless posts I've written and published here talk about the irrefutable connection to someone of the same sex.  I'm not in a relationship with Chris simply because he turns me on physically and I want to have sex with him.  I'm partners with him because I connect to him on all levels--intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  In the same way I imagine a heterosexual man derives from a heterosexual woman what he most wants and needs in a partner, I achieve the same with Chris.  

How insulting to state homosexuality is akin to alcoholism, gambling, and pot smoking. The comparison isn't even remotely appropriate.  Again, this comment suggests homosexuality is a choice, but, I can assure you, unless you are gay yourself, you can't make this claim.  I can't turn being gay off and on at will.  I can't be gay today, and, for whatever reason, choose to be straight tomorrow.  Any gay person on that continuum close to the homosexual extreme would agree with me.  Being gay isn't a choice, and let's put an end to that notion immediately.     

I notice the final sentence in this part is not supported by documented evidence, so I have to believe the person writing these comments is perhaps black herself.  If I've ever offended a black person by claiming being gay is the same as being black in terms of not having the choice to be otherwise, then I apologize and won't make the comparison again.  That said, I assure you being gay is not a choice, for me or for anyone else who identifies himself as gay and has made peace with it.  I can't imagine going through the misery I have over the years because I chose to be gay instead of straight. What fool would ever actively make that choice?      


[12] Homosexual serial killers
[13] Catholic aide says gay men commit most pedophilia
[14] AIDS Director to China Warns Gays on High-Risk Behavior
[15] Everyone Should Know these Statistics on Homosexuals
[16] A study by the Canadian government regarding homosexual couples states that "violence was twice as common among homosexual couples compared with heterosexual couples".  - 2004 General Social Survey, Statistics Canada, Canada's National Statistical Agency, July 7, 2005
[17] According the American College of Pediatricians who cite several studies, violence among homosexual couples is two to three times more common than among married heterosexual couples. "Homosexual partnerships are significantly more prone to dissolution than heterosexual marriages with the average homosexual relationship lasting only two to three years."

[18] In June of 2004, the journal, Nursing Clinics of North America reported the following regarding homosexual couples: "Domestic abuse is under-reported in the gay community, citing a number of cases of abuse and violence among intimate partners. - Nursing Clinics of North America North Am. 2004 Jun;39(2):403
[19] In 2000, the New York Times in an article entitled "Silence Ending About Abuse in Gay Relationships" cites this statement from Dave Shannon, co-ordinator of the violence recovery program at a gay and lesbian clinic in Boston. "For years, gay people have tried to keep quiet about the problem. Why should we air our dirty laundry when people feel so negatively about us already? The last thing we should do is contribute to negative stereotypes of us." - New York Times, 11/06/2000
[20] "Domestic violence is the third largest health problem facing the gay and lesbian community today and trails only behind AIDS and substance abuse in terms of sheer numbers and lethality." - Susan Holt, coordinator of the domestic violence unit of the L.A. Gay Lesbian Center
[21] Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays
[22] “Having receptive anal intercourse is a known risk factor for anal cancer.” - National Cancer Institute


  1. Looking forward to part 3, Rick. I do wish that this were more possible in a dialogue form, but I can see how you are disposing of some frustration. I just hope that this is more transformative that polarizing for "Anonymous".

  2. Thanks for your comment and concern, Neal.
    I really expect to make no impression on Anonymous (the person who generated the original comment ) at all. That wasn't my intent with my response. All I really want to do is have the opportunity to address so many issues that have been leveled against gay men and lesbian women for so long, from my perspective, of course.
    I completed the first draft of my response to part three today, and you know what I discovered? Once that piece is edited and published, I'm moving on. It was never my intent to defend myself to a heterosexual about being gay, but that's what it felt like today. That's also not what my blog is about. I know I can never change the mind of someone like Anonymous, nor should I have to The beauty is we can all have our opinions, and we can all learn to live together.
    How wonderful it truly is to live in such a diverse world. There's room for all of us, right?
    Once again, I appreciate your interest in what I have to say. Thanks for being there.