I suggest getting your hands on some gay literature or gay media. It helped me a lot to see other people being gay and confident and loving themselves. You'll find out soon, I hope, that gay people are some of the most talented, hilarious, capable people you'll ever meet. And the world really needs those kinds of people, so stick around. There are amazing adventures to be had with really funny, attractive, open friends and lovers.
(From "Look at the Moon," by Agustin Cepeda, It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living, edited by Dan Savage and Terry Miller, p. 168.)
This is so true. I remember how much reading I did after coming out in the 1970s. Glad Day Books in Toronto was a wonderful resource of books by gay authors.
ReplyDeleteI plowed through most of the novels by the fine gay writers from those days: Andrew Holleran, Paul Monette, Christopher Bram, Allan Gurganus, Ethan Mordden (more than I can list).
Some of these fellows are still writing. I always look forward to something new from Andrew Holleran. Somehow his books speak to me on a very personal level. I still go back to re-read chapters from "The Beauty of Men" frequently. When I first read it I can recall how much I identified with the central character's loneliness and sense of longing and isolation.
I think the first 'gay' movie that really spoke to me was a wonderful independent film from the mid-1980s called "Parting Glances". No high drama. Just a gentle look at two gay men dealing with the fact that one of them was about to move to Europe for work. There's a wonderful chaotic section with their friends at a going away party.
Great to hear from you, canoetoo.
ReplyDeleteDid you stimulate my memory by mentioning some of these names. While I'll have to check out a few of them, I remember reading Bram's "Father or Frankenstein" and Monette's "Becoming a Man" many years ago, and I LOVED both of them. (I should read them again.)
A few others I really enjoyed include:
"Edinburgh," Alexander Chee
"A Single Man," Christopher Isherwood
"The Front Runner," Patricia Nell Warren (a gay classic)
"Fruit," Brian Francis
The point of this "Thought for the Day" is to help create balance in gay people's lives and broaden their perspectives. Sure, they see the Pride parades, the drag queens, the go-go boys, and the stereotypical stuff, but there's a whole legacy of legitimate gay culture out there that many know little about. And we owe it to ourselves and our artists to check it out.
I know anyone struggling with being gay will be inspired to accept and love themselves more by taking a look at what's available in terms of art, literature, music, and the like. As a community, we should be very proud of what our courageous brothers and sisters created, often at times in history when there was great peril being identified as gay or lesbian.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I really appreciate it.