Saturday, March 2, 2013

Do The Work Now

Something I wrote to a reader in an email today resonated with me, and I want to share it with you.

The purpose of this blog is very clear and encapsulated in the sub-title:  Together, elevating the experience of being gay by learning to understand, accept, and love ourselves.  

A corollary to that might well be, if you don't understand, accept, and love yourself first as a gay person, you cannot possibly do the same for that special someone when he enters your life.  (Or, as I wrote to my reader, if you hate yourself because you're gay, how can you love someone who is also gay?)

I have seen, or heard of, a good many gay male relationships fail because one, or the other, or both partners were filled with self-loathing.  Their sexual orientation became the single greatest obstacle in the success of their relationship.

Given how many of you I know want to find that special person, be in love, and build a life together, I implore you to start doing the work on yourself right away.

The time to do the work isn't when you're in the throes of a relationship, when your focus should be on the other person and not on you.  Get yourself together now, while you're still single.  I know from experience what I'm talking about.    


  1. What you say here rings true in my life. Not until I was able to accept myself fully did I find peace in my own skin. This has helped me relate to other gay men, and build a few good friendships. So far no serious new boyfriend type relationship. I am still hopeful. Thank you for your blog.

  2. And thank you for your comment, Topper.
    I appreciate your interest in my blog and your support.