There are those who believe gay men are all about sex. Why legalize gay marriage, they argue, why extend same-sex benefits, when all gay men want to do is have sex, anyway? They're already doing what they do. Let's not mock marriage by making it available to gay men.
My response to that is, if you'd been told forever that the feelings you have for someone are unnatural, disgusting, even immoral, you might be all about sex too. Because, regardless of sexual orientation, all of us need emotional connection, validation, and love. And, one way or the other, we'll find it.
Unfortunately, in the case of many gay men, the form it takes is sex. Because sex is often easier and faster and readily available. Because you experience the warmth of another human being, even for a short time, and believe you've gotten what you need. But, of course, you haven't. It's only temporary. Until the need's there again.
Sex isn't love. No one can argue that. Sex is a manifestation of love, but only when love is there to begin with. Otherwise, it's just plain, old sex. And, because we're told our love for another man is wrong, it's the only option open to us, the only option we allow ourselves.
So how do we stop this hamster wheel? By our culture accepting gay people for the complex and whole human beings they are. By supporting same-sex marriage and benefits. And by sending the clear message that our love is as valid, and necessary, as any.