Yesterday, I received an invitation from Allison, an associate producer at "HuffPost Live," to participate in an online conversation about being gay and an overachiever. In her Google search, she must have found this post, which I wrote on that very subject over two years ago. I was nervous about participating in a live discussion, but I was excited too. And thrilled to be asked.
Following a few exchanges with Allison, the conversation took place earlier today, and there I was, along with the moderator and four other guests. I'd like to say I was coherent in everything I said and came across as a seasoned pro, but I wasn't and I didn't. Although I knew the general direction of the discussion, I had no idea how and when I'd be brought into it, or what questions I'd be asked.
I've had a look at the video of the discussion, and my performance made me cringe. There's good reason why I'm behind a keyboard and not in front of a camera. But it was an eye-opening experience, I learned a hell of a lot, and, if I'm ever fortunate enough to be invited again (I doubt that will happen any time soon), I hope I'll perform better when I'm lobbed unexpected questions and all eyes are on me.
In the meantime, everything I wrote in the post I referred to above still rings true for me, and if you too are gay and an overachiever, I hope seeing yourself in my words will help you be more aware of what this habit is doing to you. And how unnecessary it is. Because you're important and worthwhile and special just by being you, and not for doing a damn thing more. How I wish I'd gotten that years ago.