Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Our Best Lives

In a recent post, I wrote the following:

Seeking ways to take being gay to the next level:  that's my goal, and I hope it's yours, too.  If you think of anything, small or large, that all of us should be aware of, not only to improve our experience of being gay but to elevate it to a higher level we may not have realized before, I invite you to respond to a blog post or to send me an email directly. 

Some of you may wonder what I meant by this, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to explain.

Assuming you're a gay person, perhaps something in your experience doesn't sit right with you.  For example, in the post titled "We're Better Than That," I wrote about how we're typically quick to get angry or become defensive when someone says something negative about us.  And how what is said, in the end, usually has no effect.  So the point of the piece was, why waste time and energy on our reaction when we can put them to better use elsewhere, helping to elevate our experience as gay people?

This came about simply because, when I check out articles on Advocate.com (which is my homepage), see opportunity has been given to folks to spew their hatred toward us, and read the resulting comments filled with corresponding hate, it seemed to me we were being drawn into the same old crap over and over again, that we're better than that, and we could do better than that.

Are you aware of a similar situation, a way we can take back control of how we think, feel, act, and turn it into something that works for us, that has the potential to change our lives for the better?  That's what I'm talking about.

I hope you'll take some time to give this some thought--to look at a common situation in a bit of a different way, see the opportunity in it, and share your ideas with us right here in my blog.

Help us all live our best lives as gay people.


  1. I think it is important to be aware of what we are focusing our attention on. Certainly it is a waste of time to worry about people with extreme or fringe opinions, especially if they don't have any resonance with mainstream society. When I first saw the Jackson article before reading your previous post, I was merely surprised that someone from SNL could be antigay. It made me wonder about her intellectual capacity. I did not feel threatened, nor did I bother to read people's comments about it. On the other hand, more thought-provoking articles on the Advocate site seem to bring out very interesting and illuminating comments. Even on mainstream news sites like the CBC, the comments range from "total crackpot" to "expert insight" to "compassionate" depending on the topic. The media knows how to reach all segments of its audience. Anyway, I think we need to be careful in this media-saturated age not to get distracted by "news" that is not news at all. The overall evolution of public support for gay rights is a positive one, which is a reality we can feel very good about. Unthinking people like Jackson only serve to increase public support for us. So I would say we should take control, by deepening our appreciation of what is actually happening in the world in terms of medium and long-term social trends.

  2. As always, Doug, your comment is astute and speaks for itself. If I may, I'd like to highlight a few things.

    If we focus our attention on the negative comments thrown our way, that's likely the only thing we'll end up seeing, which would be a pity considering all the good things happening.

    Comments like Victoria Jackson's are less and less relevant every day. Mainstream society is more accepting than ever of gay and lesbian people, and I believe we have to give the average person credit for realizing how "out there" viewpoints like hers are. I just wish they weren't expressed in the name of Christianity, which is not the type of Christianity I believe in.

    'I think we need to be careful in this media-saturated age not to get distracted by "news" that is not news at all.' Amen! Couldn't say it any better. Definitely worth repeating.

    Yes, we are getting there. I think we have more straight people on our side than ever before. Let's not get lost in what people like Victoria Jackson have to say. They're a dying breed.

    Thanks again for a thoughtful and well-expressed comment. As always, I appreciate your contribution to the discussion. Your viewpoints make a difference.