What can you do if you are thirty and, turning the corner of your own street, you are overcome, suddenly, by a feeling of bliss--absolute bliss!--as though you'd suddenly swallowed a bright piece of that late afternoon sun and it burned in your bosom, sending out a little shower of sparks into every particle, into every finger and toe?...
--Katherine Mansfield, "Bliss"
Yesterday was not good. My sleep was cut short for no reason, I felt out of sorts, and I was overwhelmed with so many reasons to be unhappy.
So what did I do? I stewed about it at first, scaring myself, until I remembered the best place to turn, as always, was my journal. Recording everything I felt, including an itemized list of why I felt unhappy, allowed me to take a hard look at what was on my mind. And, as usual, once it was all down on paper, I discovered it was "much ado about nothing"-- for the most part, anyway.
How different two days can be.
While making entree salads for dinner late this afternoon, I cleaned and cut and chopped, while Chris worked in the yard under a cool, grey sky. I looked up once in a while, glancing out the large kitchen window, into the backyard, and saw him repot several plants that didn't winter well. He dumped the contents of the pots, preserved the essence of the plants, lovingly cleaned them up, and gave them new homes in new potting soil mix. A simple task, really, but one filled with exquisite beauty, because Chris was doing it, and because he was in his glory doing it, and because I was in my glory watching him do it.
Music playing in the background, our plates filling with the makings of salads, the love of my life just outside, tending to our garden, I felt that tingle run up my spine. You know the one. Everyone feels it now and then. All at once, it's there, unexpectedly, and you awaken, shiver, overcome with pure bliss. And you know in your heart you're exactly where you want to be, doing exactly what you want to do, taking in all that is your life and acknowledging, without a doubt, it doesn't get any better than this. Your soul is utterly filled with the deepest satisfaction, with ultimate well-being, and the realization these are indeed the best days of your life.