Friday, October 14, 2011

Coming Out Month: A Coming Out Party (Reprise)

Some years ago, Chris and I went out for dinner with my first lover, Adrian, and his partner, and, on that occasion, Adrian told us how he'd come out to his family and friends years earlier.  You may find his method radical, but I can't think of a more efficient or effective way to do it.     

Once Adrian had accepted his sexual orientation--that is, when he refused to believe there was anything wrong with him because he was gay--he held a coming out party, of sorts.  He gathered all his relatives and friends together and told them he was gay.  The message came directly from him, and everyone heard the exact same words at the same time.

His big secret revealed, Adrian then told everyone it was up to them to deal with it and left.

No question, he took a bold position, both with his admission and how those he was closest to would be affected by it.  But he got it over with all at once, and he ensured everyone was in the company of others who would help them through the initial shock, if they needed support.        

Adrian never told us the outcome of what he did that day, but I believe the confidence he exhibited during his announcement, and the position he took that this is the way I am, take it or leave it, showed everyone he was okay with himself, and they should be, too.   

I give Adrian a lot of credit for the way he came out.  Unlike most of us, who put other people's feelings ahead of our own, he made his coming out about him.  Which, if you think about it, is the way it should be, since we're the ones most profoundly affected by our sexual orientation.  

If you're thinking of coming out anytime soon, you might want to consider this bungee-jumping alternative--if you dare.  

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