So I spoke with a straight male friend yesterday, someone I've known since the early 1990s, and he told me his marriage of twenty-four years ended last November. This came as news to me. I was surprised, and yet I wasn't surprised. I'd seen this one coming for a while. It's clear to me why my friend's marriage ended.
So, to the list of the thirteen reasons why I believe Chris's and my relationship lasted as long as it has (click here to read about them in detail), I need to add an additional item: Never take each other for granted. Never take your relationship for granted. Never assume tomorrow will always look like today, because, believe me, it won't.
I can't be more truthful or heartfelt about this: Every single day Chris returns home safely from work, I'm grateful. Every single day Chris and I enjoy dinner and the evening together, I'm grateful. Every single weekend Chris and I spend together and create new memories, even of the simplest, smallest kind, I'm grateful. For every single laugh I share with that man, every single embrace, every kiss, every glance of compassion, caring, and love, I am grateful.
Every single night, I include in my prayers words of gratitude for my relationship with Chris. Because you know what? One day, that relationship will no longer be. I know it. It makes me crazy to know it. Whenever two people are involved, it's inevitable something will happen to one or the other of them, sooner or later (secretly, I hope we both go together, but who can guarantee that?). More likely, one day, one of us will be without the other, whether one leaves or dies. It's a fact of life. All good things must come to an end, even a committed, loving, enduring relationship.
And the scary thing is, it can happen at any time. Any time at all. As Donald Trump said recently, "Life is fragile, so fragile," and no truer words were spoken. Here today, gone tomorrow.
Tomorrow is not the time to think about what you could have done differently--if the choice was even up to you--to keep your relationship going. All you have--all any of us has--is today. In fact, all any of us has is this moment, the very moment we find ourselves in right now. Now is when we must say what must be said; do what must be done; feel what must be felt.
Because, if we wait until tomorrow...well, you know tomorrow may never come, right?