"Most of the people who are very down on who you are and what you are, they have a lot of pain inside of them. After all, what you're doing is not hurting them, it's got nothing to do with them, it does not threaten their lives at all, and yet they react so strongly against you. The only conclusion I can draw is that they must have some kind of pain inside them that makes you a threat. They have made you a threat. But, again, that's their problem. It's not your problem at all."
(From Lawrence Gullo, Fyodor Pavlov, Eileen Charbonneau, and Ed Gullo, "Our Parents as Allies," It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living, Dan Savage and Terry Miller, eds., p. 241.)
So very very true. It's a lesson I've been learning over the past year or so. We're very often taught that it is indeed our problem, when it absolutely isn't.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rick!
Realizing it's not our problem, Heather, is a tough one for many of us, because of the bullying we're subjected to, and how difficult it is to endure that over time. Yet, I don't see any other way around achieving self-acceptance and self-love without realizing we're not the problem at all.
ReplyDeleteWhat's beautiful about this quote is it's from Eileen, who is Lawrence's mother. What his parents have to say about their gay son in particular and homosexuality in general is a true inspiration. We should all be so lucky to have such open-minded and accepting parents.
Thanks so much for your comment.
I agree. Bullying is often an act of desperation. The bully wants to save himself from drowning by pushing someone else under. Teachers and parents need to learn how to help the bullies too.
ReplyDeleteBTW Rick, I like your new blog template look!
Great comments about bullying, Doug. Something has to motivate bullies to do what they do, especially since our being gay doesn't hurt them. Bullies get something from bullying others, so, if we could just identify what that is and provide it in more constructive ways, maybe, just maybe, we could make bullying a thing of the past. Wouldn't that be great?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment about the new look of my blog. I want something a little more striking because I feel what I'm trying to do here is positive and uplifting. I want readers to feel good after they've been here, so if, in addition to the words, the look of my blog helps in that regard, so much the better.
Thanks again for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment.