Sunday, September 11, 2011

Morality Terrorist

Sometimes, I get angry.  Sometimes, I get so fucking angry, I don't know what to do with myself. I need to yell and scream.  I need to hit something.  But the last thing I need to do--what I know I shouldn't do--is write a post on my blog (like now), because I've told myself to stay positive, to set a good example, to inspire gay men and lesbian women with my words.  And, while I'm spouting off, I doubt I do that--not in the way I want to.      

But today, I'm out of control.  Why am I out of control?  Because I read a short piece on that pissed me off, big time.  That's why.  Apparently, Oklahoma state Representative Sally Kern (this woman was elected?) equated gay people with terrorists.  That's right.  According to her, gay people are the same as terrorists.  Terrorists?  At a 2008 fundraiser, Kern is said to have gone on a homophobic rant, claiming "...homosexuality is just as detrimental to society as terrorism."

Me?  Rick Modien?  Fifty-one-years-old, partnered for nearly twenty years, living in the suburbs of Metro Vancouver, house organizer, home decorating freak, gardener, Disneyland fanatic, writer--a terrorist?  It would be hysterical if it wasn't so pathetic.  So ridiculous.  So ignorant. Where does Kern get this stuff?  How am I a terrorist?  How are any gay people terrorists, in the same way Islamic extremists are, just by loving people of the same gender?  How is that possible?  How?

Apparently, I am.  According to Wikipedia, here's what Ms. Kern had to say on the subject: Homosexuality '" the death knell of this country [the United States].  I honestly think it's the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam--which I think is a big threat, okay?  Cause what's happening now is they are going after, in schools, two-year olds...And this stuff is deadly, and it's spreading, and it will destroy our young people, it will destroy this nation."'

Can you imagine what Ms. Kern would think if she found out not only am I gay, but also I write a blog to try to build up and empower gay people?  To help gay people accept and love themselves?  To tell them they don't deserve the discrimination and bigotry levelled against them? They don't deserve to be treated differently from the rest of mainstream society?  They don't deserve to be denied their human rights?  And they don't deserve to hate themselves and live in fear because of people like Ms. Kern?            

Perhaps I'm a morality terrorist, then.  Yeah, that's what I am.   First, I'm a terrorist simply because I'm gay.  But, even worse, I'm a morality terrorist because, through my writing, I work to convince straight and gay people alike that, contrary to Ms. Kern's uninformed opinion (and unfortunate public platform), homosexuality isn't immoral after all.  I go completely against her religious beliefs, her moral code.  Why, if you think about it, I'm undermining the very moral structure of society.

Well, Ms. Kern, if that's what you think, then I gladly accept the title.  Call me a terrorist; hell, call me a morality terrorist.  Because, yes, I'm gay, and, yes, I will not stand for the way gay people are treated, not by you or your ilk.  Not any longer.  In my view, the only thing immoral is what you spew in a public forum about people you know nothing about, and how you demean and insult them with your ignorant and bigoted words.  Hate is immoral, Ms. Kern, not love.  Not love.  


  1. I guess I wrote an overly long comment so I cut in half :D

    Gay people are going after two-year olds?... WHAT? Does she mean that gays are pedophiles or what? (This woman has serious studying to do, if she can't tell apart a pedophile and a homosexual person.) For an adult person, she is incredible retarded. I guess she thinks stirring up hate between straight, gays, colored and white people is a better example for youngsters now-a-days than being open-minded, encouraging adult like she should be.

    This is pretty bad and sad, 'cause if a person like her got elected, it means there are still a lot of people against gays, colored people and other minorities. She was even re-elected to continue her work as a politician, that tells a lot about how people react to this homosexuality matter.

    I am Asian, which means I believe in Buddhism and Taoism, and personally when I was in secondary school, I thought that, hell, why do we need religions anyway? What do we do with them? It has always only stirred up hate and many people died in conflicts that were mainly caused by the debate on this specific question: which religion is the right one? But then growing older, I realized that religion is like a small rope which people will hold on to when they have no ground under their feet and have no place to lean their foot on. It is faith that keeps people going, in the darkest hour of their lives. And now I truly respect the people who want to believe in their god. But I think some people take this believing a little bit too far. They claim that they believe in God, but they won't let others believe in God, if they don't fill up the standards. The subject of religion and getting to heaven has always circled around these few main points:
    1. be white
    2. be straight
    3. hate everybody and everything that won't fill up the first two standards
    4. and then there comes the usual ones: don't steal, kill, hurt etc....

    Funny thing is that sometimes I feel like everything that is mentioned in number four, CAN be forgiven, except the first two.

    (I know it is not true, but still, I get that feeling once in a while, so I feel like: why bother believing, if I'm going to hell anyway? Apparently only Christianity is the real religion, even though I believe that God is one and the same, the powerful force we believe will save us in the moment of need and protect us and give us hope. God to me is never dying hope, to which I can rely on when ever I feel lost.)

  2. Some old customer in my workplace said to me once that people like me will go straight to hell, back to where I had came from. I told him to literally f*** off, before I kick him to were I (apparently) had came from. It is pretty useless to debate with people like him (or in this post Sally Kern), they are too hard boiled to believe or listen to anybody else but themselves. And then there are some customers who say that people who are from different nationality are like flees, sucking the blood (in this case money) from their country by being lazy asses and taking the social security money from the government. (There are some people who are like that, but don't hate on everybody for the few lost lambs) Funny thing is that if I or my family, or everybody else from different nationalities were like that, we wouldn't be standing behind the counters listening to their childish claims and clean up their messes (but they never think of that, no way. Otherwise they wouldn't have anything to talk about when they are standing in the line, impatiently waiting for service).

    I am shortly very pissed of too, when some of the straight, white people have a racist attitude towards others who differ from them, and then they piss me off even more by appealing to God, "God hates you freaks, blah blah blah". They are not perfect either, so what gives them the right to bash on others and then at the same time blame it on God? Childish and thoughtless, if you ask me, ridiculous. Even little children think better then some of these people.

    The people hating others because they are different are the real terrorist, so I suggest they look in to the mirror before letting asinine things fall out of their mouth.

    Good thing that you brought up this matter, I can finally release my thoughts about it and relieve my stress and anger. I feel a lot better now that my thoughts have been written out. Thank you :))

  3. Tina, you have certainly said a mouthful, and I'm proud of you for sounding off. If my rant encouraged you to get a lot off your chest, then I'm glad I could be there for you. Sometimes, we can't hold back any longer, can we?.

    You know, I have no idea what Kern meant by saying homosexuals were going after two-year-olds. In Canada, at least, children that age don't go to school yet. So who knows what she was referring to. But I'm certainly not aware of any instance where gay people are going after young children.

    You are quite right. There's a huge difference between homosexuality and pedophilia. Unfortunately, some uninformed people don't know the difference, and we (gay people) get stuck with that rap in addition to others. It seems to me if a young woman your age has it figured out, they should, too.

    The fact Kern got elected in the United States should tell you a little about where some Americans's heads are at. Yes, there's a whole segment of the population known as Baptists (Kern is one), who are conservative and fanatical when it comes to religion. They are a small group, but they're very loud. They presume to speak for many, but of course they don't. In the meantime, they make life hell for everyone with their ignorance.

    On the subject of religion, I've made my views very clear in various posts on my blog. Religion is the primary reason why gay and lesbian people have so much trouble, so, on that basis alone, I don't support it (even though I was raised a Catholic). I believe in God, I have faith, and my relationship with God is very personal. But I abhor religion, and I can't tolerate the arrogance of Christians who believe their religion is the only one.

    I can't disagree with a thing you wrote in the second half of your post. There are all sorts of crazy people out there, who presume they are better than everyone else for one reason or another (often using religion to support their claims). Of course, almost everyone is better than anyone who is gay, so I certainly know a thing or two around discrimination on that basis. It's too bad we can't all just accept each other's differences and stop being so arrogant.

    Like I said before, I'm glad I wrote this post so you could relieve some of the pressure building inside you. Feels good to unload, doesn't it?

    Thanks so much for your mature and thoughtful comment. You and I are on the same wave length for sure. I hope you'll keep in touch. I love hearing from you.

  4. Nothing would get done without a good dose of anger, Rick. Women would not be voting, people who weren't white would still be in segregated schools...Kern is no different from the Southern politicians who fought tooth and nail against civil rights, for every "right" a person gains, she thinks something has been taken away from her. I'd pity people like her if she weren't so dangerous to every gay kid who listens to her, and every parent who is influenced by her.

    Although I agree with you about religion generally, I was reading about United Churches across Canada that have made a pledge to encourage LGBT membership, they are called "affirming" congregations, there are 7 in Calgary, 65 across Canada. In fact, the one I was reading about is in the Hillhurst neighbourhood of Calgary, and they've recently changed their church logo to a rainbow circle, specifically to honour their LGBT's making me think there's hope yet.

  5. Hey, Sarah. I seem to recall you encouraging me in a similar fashion before, after I wrote a post titled "Kick Ass" (which, strangely, became one of the most popular pieces on my blog). I was fed up then, and I was certainly fed up when I read the "Advocate" article on Kern. I have my breaking point, too. A fellow can only take so much nonsense. Thank you for helping me to see that sometimes a good old fashioned rant can be helpful and effective.

    About churches more open to LGBT people, I worry about their legitimacy. Usually, they are off-shoots of main churches, which don't and will never support gay and lesbian people. I also believe (this is the cynic in me) that some of these churches purposely adapted to accept us because they're losing regular members and thus funds in the form of donations. I could be wrong, but I'm a little suspect. Still, I thank you for sharing this information. I hope it proves to be helpful to some readers.

    Always great to hear from you. Thanks for your contribution to the discussion, and for your ongoing interest in what I have to say.

  6. Rant and roar, Rick, just like Great Big Sea... :)

    While I'd love nothing better than a world free from all the harm religion does, and free from mainstream religion itself, I recognize there are gays and lesbians out there who identify as Christian, and think it's cool they have a place that's as accepting as these "affirming" churches seem to be. It's a tough call for me, personally, as you're basically saying "ignore all the shitty, demeaning, vile parts of this book we hold near and dear, and just listen to the good stuff," where I would then say, "just be a good person, forget the book," but some people seem to like that feeling of community. Part of me thinks religion should be taken out of the hands of the zealots, and put back into community service, which is what it does best. Ah well, would that we were in charge of the world, eh? :)

    (Just made some peach jam, new recipe, will pass on if it turns out!)

  7. You know, Sarah, if I listened to myself, I'd rant and roar a lot more because, at times, I can scarcely control my anger over what I see and hear. But I don't want this to be a place where I bitch and complain--not incessantly. I want people to feel peaceful and comfortable here; I want them to come here for a little reason and perspective and compassion. I just don't think I can elevate the experience of being gay when I'm slamming something all the time. Plus, when I do get angry, then maybe those posts will have more impact. If you're angry all the time, then everything loses its importance. Make sense?

    On the subject of religion, you and I are very much alike. How much harm has been done in the name of religion over the centuries? How many people have died because of religious intolerance? How many people have received the message they're not the chosen ones because they're not Christian? And being a traditional Christian doesn't seem to be enough either. I was raised a Catholic, but, if I understand it correctly, that's not good enough--even if I were still a practicing, devout Catholic--because, according to some, I need to be born again or verbally accept Christ as my savior. Who really has the answer? I think we just need to go with what's in our hearts, and, as you say, " a good person, forget the book."

    How did your peach jam turn out? Chris and I made one batch of blueberry, two of peaches, and one of strawberries. Everything turned out great. I think we're done for this year, but I know we'll make jam again next summer. By all means send along the recipe. I'd love to take a look at it.

    Thanks so much for your comment.

  8. My dear sweet friend...

    I am outraged alongside you and more than anything want to one: punch someone in the face and two: wrap my arms around you in a giant bear hug!!

    You are loved, valued and appreciated.

    DON'T GIVE UP YOUR PLATFORM!!! We (gay and straight alike) need you in our lives.

    Love, Donna

  9. ....jam was fine, although I must say, I prefer the slightly tart varieties, like raspberry and red currant, peach is oh-so-sweet! I just did a regular recipe, with half the pectin as always, so it's nice and spreadable...

    8 cups peaches done in food processor
    1/4 cup lemon juice
    10 cups sugar
    2 powdered pectin packets


  10. @Donna: Thank you so much for your support and your kind words.

    I have to be honest: I doubt everything I write appeals to straight people, religious people, or gay people--for different reasons. But I write it like I see it. That's the beauty of a blog--we have the opportunity to speak our minds, not for the purpose of being destructive but to shake things up a bit, to provide a little reality, and to get people thinking. I know from some of the people I hear from that I speak for them, too, and that they're happy someone is finally saying what they've always thought.

    The important thing to remember is, I'm not trying to be malicious. Above all, I'm trying to prove to our straight detractors that not all gay people are alike, and to gay people that we need to clean up our act if we want respectability, to be taken seriously, and to secure our human rights. At this point, we have to count on our straight detractors to come around and support us, and we have a responsibility in this by proving we deserve their support and respect.

    Thanks again for your all the wonderful things you wrote. You obviously care about me and about gay people in general, and we need a lot more people like you. I appreciate your kindness.

    @Sarah: Good to hear your peach jam turned out well. But I admit I was surprised when you mentioned how much sugar you added. Wow! Our recipe called for ten cups of chopped peaches (not sure what that works out to when processed), two and a half boxes/packets of pectin (I added another half box to ensure it thickened properly), and four cups of sugar (full recipe called for seven). I have a major sweet tooth, and I still found the finished product plenty sweet enough. Otherwise, our recipes are pretty much the same.

    Thanks for the follow-up and for sharing your recipe with me (and my readers). I appreciate it.

  11. I appreciate the honesty and anger is truly appropriate at times. This is why it's so important for people to come out. If this ignoramus looking to score votes actually knew she had had people in her family or her cabinet, she would likely have more compassion. My own sister feared that gay people were molesters, and when I came out to her, and she asked questions, and met one of my boyfriends, she came around and is an advocate for gay rights. I bet this politician's colleagues are afraid to come out, but many people need to be on the receiving end of a coming out story in order to rethink their positions, no matter how much political power these people hold.

    1. Yes, I really went for it in this post, didn't I? Again, I had to read what I wrote about three years ago. I don't get that furious often, but, boy, did I have enough of the nonsense that day (as I'm sure you could tell).

      I'm better now. I haven't heard anything about Sally Kern since then, so it's all good. Fun to get angry in words, though. I'd like to do that a little more often (when it's warranted, of course; not just for the sake of being angry).

      Thanks for you interest in my blog and for your comment. I appreciate it.

      P.S.: Great comment about your sister. Coming out has so many benefits, including making family and friends aware they know a gay person too. In most cases, that sure makes them sing a different tune, when they realize we're people just like they are, and not the great stereotypical unknown.